Wiping off the salty sweat, and occasional tears, to re-discover what makes me happy.
January 30, 2012
Welp, all I did this weekend was eat. What else is new, right? Ugh. I hhhaaaatteee myself. Wednesday is the four-month mark for Katie's wedding. I'm thinking about doing the December Detox diet (4D) but alter it slightly so I don't punk out after 2 weeks like last time. But I'm running out of options and feel like going big or going home is all I can do at this point.
I have to admit, losing this weight is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I've tried to lose a significant amount of weight twice before in my life and each time I did it without having to do anything extreme. I really do not know why this time it is so much harder. It is physically and emotionally exhausting; one day I'm like screw it (and eat like it's my last day on Earth) and the next day I'm like "I have to lost this weight right this instant!!!!" It's so overwhelming; I feel guilty every day. Not to sound like a brat, but I've generally been successful in my life with things that I've worked hard for and put my mind to. Why can't I just get skinny for the love of God. WAH.
I don't even want to work out today but I guess I have to. I'm planning on doing this treadmill exercise since I was lazy and didn't do shiz this weekend. I can't start 4D (ish) until after Wednesday because I can't buy groceries until then so I guess we'll see how this pans out. Hah.