I haven't been posting as often as usual. Some of that is due to my busy schedule, both professionally and personally, but another reason I haven't been as consistent is because I'm starting to get down on myself about my appearance, weight, all that fun stuff. I think a lot of it is because I read a few healthy-living blogs regularly and I've been comparing myself to those other women a lot more lately than ever before. I'm not sure why; it never really bothered me before and I've actually learned a lot of healthy habits from these wonderful women. However, more often than not recently, I look at their pictures and I feel inadequate as a blogger and a healthy individual. I feel like I should look like them because I do pretty much all the same things they do: exercise regularly, eat a majority of my meals healthfully (even eating most of the same foods they do), and occasionally splurging on some not-so-healthy-but-tasty treats. However, they have lean, strong, fit bodies and I....well...don't. It's not like I've gained any weight recently and I'm most certainly not "blaming" these women for anything; in fact, they are the reason I decided to start blogging in the first place. I'm just starting to doubt myself and get in a negative space that I really don't want or need to be in. Comparing myself is 100% on me obviously. So taking a step back from the blog is so I don't spiral back in to my bad habits that I've worked towards breaking for 15 months now. In reality, I will probably never look like these women just based on our body types, but reminding myself daily how "inadequate" I am isn't helping me with any of my goals, weight-associated or otherwise.
What I'm trying to say is you will probably only see sporadic posts from me until I start to feel better about myself again. I'm on the verge of tears as I write this because I feel like a failure both with blogging and weight loss but I know I need to focus more on what makes me happy right now instead of what doesn't. And right now, blogging isn't making me happy.
I appreciate those of you who read my ramblings, your comments and suggestions, and most of all your support. Hopefully if/when I start training for my full marathon this summer/fall, I'll be back at it. But for now...
Stay classy salty sweaters!
